The REAL reason being single is hard for Christian Women
There are plenty of reasons to dislike being the single friend.
You’re watching everyone get married off and start a new life all while yours seems to never change.
And sure, you know you have to wait for the right guy to come along, you get why you can’t just marry the first random you meet. So if you’re single because you know the right guy hasn’t come along then why can’t you just accept that and enjoy this season!!!???
I’ll tell you why because I was the same way! I was single because I hadn’t found anyone I wanted to date! It was that simple! But after a lot of prayer here is what GOd showed me was REALLY bothering me about being single:
Why I actually HATED being single was not because I was jealous of my friends or wanted what they had…It wasn’t about that.
BUT it was all about CONTROL.
Here is why your need to CONTROL is stealing the joy from your single years and here’s how you can let Jesus take the wheel so you can relax.
First Admit you have a problem:
I spent most of my twenties single and crying out to God for a relationship. I hated being single but it wasn’t because I thought being in a relationship would make me happier.
(Here’s more on why that is almost never the case).
Through prayer, God showed me that my problem with being single was that I could not control the time, place, date, location, of when my single season would end.
I’m not saying that you are completely helpless to ending your single season. Obviously, it is completely within your power to say yes to a date or join a dating app.
BUT! In my situation I was open to meeting people and doing things to make sure I was “putting myself out there” but it just wasn’t happening fast enough for me and that drove me crazy!
I HATED not being able to control every detail of my future:
When I would meet my future spouse
Where I would meet my future spouse
What our dating relationship would look like
When would we finally get engaged?
I wanted answers NOW! In my way and on my time. I wanted to control everything about my future. I had a control problem
God doesn’t work that way and here’s why that’s a good thing:
St. John of the cross said it best:
“God has to work in the soul in secret and in darkness because if we fully knew what was happening, and what Mystery, transformation, God and Grace will eventually ask of us, we would either try to take charge or stop the whole process.”
God is in control of our lives and the sooner we accept that the sooner we will find freedom in his care and guidance.
Learning to let go of our false sense of control and leaning into God’s control is a SKILL. That means we don’t just give over control easily. We have to learn how and we have to practice to get better at it.
The number one thing that helped me to trust God and let go of control was just getting to know him and spending more time with him.
You can’t trust someone completely if you don’t know them right?
Getting to know God in the scriptures is a great way to start and I have a few resources to help you with that here:
