The Three Things That Transformed My Approach to Motherhood
In our society, we have normalized a picture of motherhood that is overworked, overwhelmed, and underappreciated.
I bought this version of being a mother for the first year of my journey as a mom and all it brought me was resentment, anxiety, and anger at God.
In prayer, through spiritual reading (and by reading I mean listening to audiobooks during diaper changes and naptime), and holy community I discovered a picture of Holy Motherhood as God intended it.
As is often the case, God’s way of approaching motherhood showed me a way that was full of life, joy, and order – almost exactly the opposite of the moms reflected in TV and in internet humor.
The main thing that I did to transform my approach to motherhood was adopt a Rule of Life.
A Rule of Life is most often referenced along with St. Benedict, a 6th Century monk. St. Benedict coined the term Rule of Life when he realized the monks at his monastery needed help finding order and balance in their days.
A rule is more than scheduling your days. It’s about bringing the peace of Jesus into your daily activities
My Rule of Life helped me in THREE MAIN WAYS, and now I’m passing the wisdom onto you:
First: Ordering my Space
Did you know studies show that a disorganized or chaotic space actually negatively affects our brain? Even if you don’t know the science, I’m sure you know the feeling – you’re a mom!
I felt like I was NEVER going to get my house in order before I had my Rule of Life but now I have built-in practices throughout the day that helps me make small steps towards order.
I’ve never felt so accomplished or capable!
Second: Time For Prayer
Ok, maybe this one should have been first!
Have you ever heard of the Eisenhower Principle? In a speech once president Eisenhower said "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent." Cleaning and laundry always seemed so urgent to me before I started my Rule of Life, but it was 100% a distraction from what was really important: my relationship with Jesus.
Now that I have sat down and started to think through my Rule of Life, I order my day around making time for worship and prayer. The most important things in life finally have the place they deserve.
Do you need help making time for prayer?
Third: Time for Myself
You know as well as I do that motherhood is all about serving others. And that’s part of the beauty of this walk of life. In serving others and dying to self we can understand Christ in ways that others can’t. That’s a good thing!
What’s not a good thing is when we let serving and becoming less selfish rob us of our joy and peace.
Remember that after Jesus died on the cross He said to his disciples: “Peace be with you.” Jesus wants us to learn about self-sacrifice but he also wants us to have peace.
So many times my approach to motherhood made me feel more chaotic instead of peaceful.
Do you need peace in your motherhood?
Through putting my tool into practice, I can now take the time to renew my own spirit – and while I still have hard days, the peace of Jesus permeates it all.
If you would like to learn more about how you can establish your own rule of life I’ve made it my mission to help women do just that!
